Texas and Kansas are championship contenders. Western Kentucky is in the Sweet 16. The Final Four is in San Antonio.
Bracket Boy, a noted history buff in his time away from bracketology, was staring at the brackets last night when he noticed a theme … and then he started to day dream about how an Old West Sweet 16 would play out.
“So saddle up, pardners,” our resident expert said, “and get your wiggle on, cause we’re gonna have a hog-killin’ time! Or something like that.”
First Round
No. 1 Davy Crockett vs. No. 16 Calamity Jane: Jane is feisty, but come on – Davy isn’t “King of the Wild Frontier” for nothing! He wins big.
No 2 Lewis and Clark vs. No. 15 Chief Joseph: Lewis and Clark advance, but only because Chief Joseph’s people, the Nez Perce Indians, were willing to help.
No. 3 Daniel Boone vs. No. 14 Geronimo: How does the theme song go? Daniel Boone was a man. He was a BIG man. So clearly, he has an advantage inside. Boone wins.
No. 4 Jesse James vs. No. 13 Wild Bill Hickok: Old Bill was doing fine in this battle of bandits, then Jesse employs the aces-and-eights defense.
No. 5 Gen. George A. Custer vs. No. 12 Crazy Horse: Suffice to say, Custer was not prepared for Crazy Horse’s attacking offense in the Little Bighorn Regional. This is a massacre.
No. 6 Billy the Kid vs. No. 11 Judge Roy Bean: The man they called the “Hanging Judge” had a death sentence in mind for the Kid, but Billy narrowly escapes.
No. 7 Wyatt Earp vs. No. 10 Buffalo Bill Cody: “Buffalo Bill,” ever the showman, is too busy entertaining the crowd as as Earp runs away with the win.
No. 8 Annie Oakley vs. No. 9 Kit Carson: Annie lived in Nutley for part of her life, and, well, you know how New Jersey teams are doing this year. Kit continues on.
Second Round
No. 1 Davy Crockett vs. No. 9 Kit Carson: Kit is tough, but come on – Davy killed him a b’ar when he was only three! Crockett cruises.
No. 2 Lewis and Clark vs. No. 7 Wyatt Earp: Lewis and Clark “discover” just how deadly a shot the famous lawman is. Earp in an upset.
No. 3 Daniel Boone vs. No. 6 Billy the Kid: He made quite a name for himself, but as any grade school student (or Billy Joel fan) knows, Billy the Kid won’t survive for long. Boone wins.
No. 4 Jesse James vs. No. 12 Crazy Horse: Many young fans choose to pull for Jesse James, but as young Bobby Brady would discover, you’ll have nightmares when your idol is a cold-hearted killer. Crazy Horse wins.
Final Four
No. 1 Davy Crockett vs. No. 12 Crazy Horse: Crazy Horse is fierce, but Davy was the rippin'est, roarin'est, fightin'est man the frontier ever knew! Wait a minute, that was Daniel Boone. Anyway, Davy wins.
No. 3 Daniel Boone vs. No. 7 Wyatt Earp: This is a close one, but Earp can’t overcome the fact that Kevin Costner would later play him in an awful 1994 movie.
Title Game
No. 1 Davy Crockett vs. No. 3 Daniel Boone: What a big-time match-up! Unfortunately for the top seed, the Final Four is in the (ITAL)Alamo(END ITAL)dome this year and, well, you know what happens when Davy goes to San Antonio.
Boone wins the title!
Boone joins Alexander the Great, who won the Famous Generals Sweet 16 last year, and George Washington, who claimed the title among famous Patriots two years ago, on the list of BB’s historical champions. Feel free to debate this bracket or the real one at BracketBoy.net or boy@bracketboy.net.
3 Comments
Mary Cunningham
9 months, 2 weeks agoA 3-seed wins, huh? A 3 seed wins wins on my bracket! Hmmmm... BB, you have too much time on your hands.
Bracket Boy
9 months, 2 weeks agoOr maybe it was code that a team from Boone would win it all! Appy State 2009??
bracket killer
9 months, 2 weeks agoProfessoer, was all of that code for suggesting a 3 seed is actually going to win it all?
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